Andrey's Nostalgia

01/13/2004

really thanks for the pics! i'm so nostalgic for those traveling moments, for most of the places over there: north india, nepal, tibet, even china. despite permanent local action the feeling of "bounded" reality of leaving all the time at certain place keeps stuck in such viscous feeling. on the other hand, this slowpoke life kind of cheats the mind: tells that the stuckness is safety and shantiness. well, that's all inside.

here's kinda light economic crunch. the best job i found - desktop internet support. it makes enought money for just living in Tel Aviv and almost just nothing else. i quail at the thought of having to live just like this for some more time and no alternatives. eeechs. thinking about stuidying here to get a B.Design or B.A in graphical design or visual communication. to try to go for master studies anywhere in europe, germany or wherever. i left germany some half a year ago. don't remember.. think i told the story. i had so nice sweet girlfriend, Uta. we traveling together for about a year and then i stayed in germany as long as i could just to be with her. space and time devours everything. hungry monster. well at the same time space and time are infinite :-) i participated in Tsokney Rinpoche retreat. my friends asked him for 2 years to come here and finally he had. i have no words to tell how i was "moved" by it. maybe i just haven't really experienced tibetan buddhistic philosophy ideas before.the tools and solutions can help to change the whole reality perception completely. and it can be just one simple technical side of the matter. the way to absolute liberation (endless samsara reincarnation and all the stuff) lays through practicing and stabilizing Rigpa, fully clean state of mind where no harmful emotions exist, kind of acid or mushroom state while feeling completely natural and much more real then in actual reality inside.

the means the philosophy uses somwhow resemble western congnitive behaviour therapy (i also used to do it for some years, meaning as a patient). just the difference is in aim to build a "healthy ego" instead of "strong ego" as it goes in psychology. ok i won't deepen in details in this letter. otherwise i'll have to write you an essey.

always happy to hears from you. suprised and happy that you remember as i imagine how many ppl you met for the last years. could be cool to meet once more anywhere. and feel like that's rather real.